Do it

It's hard to get going this morning. Oh, I don't mean that I'm sitting watching TV or anything like that - I have actually been accomplishing things since I got here at 645am. Just not critical, academic things. Things instead like this blog, like taking photos off my cell phone and putting them on the laptop, like breakfast and a compliment to A&W via their website. Useful, time-wasting, procrastinatory things like that.

Gratuitous empty library shot

Actually, and in my defense, I do have a half-assed headache today. It's weather-related, I think - and this library is incredibly dry. It's also one of those days when I don't know whether or not to wear my glasses. Oh, and I walked two complete loops around the library to find the ideal desk. You get the picture: I'm absolutely bound and determined that today I will be at my decisive, unequivocal best. I think.
Don't worry, I'll get things done. As soon as this blog is out I'll spend an hour going over the Communications material for tomorrow's quiz. Then I'll study for Tuesday's General Studies quiz. After that, perhaps I'll sketch the framework of the upcoming PowerPoint assignment, the questions for the interrog - er, interview - I'll be conducting on November 10th, and finish the Technical Communications quiz that is due on Tuesday. And then I think, for the final hour before my 2 o'clock class, I'll read ahead in Political Science.

Boy! There's always something to be getting on with, isn't there?

J

In the eye

With the first round of quizzes, exams and assignments behind me I'm enjoying a short calm in the proceedings just now - the eye of the storm, if you will. But it will not last long. The next wall is fast-approaching and it promises to be every bit as intense, if not more so, than the first.

I am awash with anxiety. Where I did well I have to keep doing well. Where I didn't do very well I have to try harder and somehow get there. At the same time I must keep trying to network, to volunteer where I can (in the most efficacious places), and - most important - to allow my head time to clear once in a while - to take time to veg. Add to this that my best friend has this week had a diagnosis of cancer that has knocked the socks off of all of us, and hopefully you can see how the screw is definitely turning...

Anyway, I'm in it now, and it's on.

So now, I dedicate the rest of this school year to Marc - my best friend of 21 years.

J

Early

I've been away. Which is to say that I've been working my $&/)\#!! off on midterms and papers. Results have been coming in. That's always intense: the heartbeat just as you open the exam book or click "my grades" online.

I've decided I won't be doing any more online courses. It's not that I don't have the discipline, it's that other things just seem to take precedence - things where it was a face and a name that told you what to do. The anonymous online instruction just seems to just stay in the background. Oh, the deadlines are still there, but you [read, "I"] always seem to hit to hit them running with the words "holy crap, that's due next week!" or a derivative thereof.

I've been thinking about this blog over the past week. It seems fairly easy to think of things to write for it, and I enjoy doing it. So why, I ask myself, couldn't I think of things to write over the past twenty years? It's exasperating. Was it work that shut me down? Insurance certainly is a creativity killer. Is it a coincidence that I started writing the moment I knew I was returning to school? I picture myself on my deathbed, rattling, gasping for air, looking up at the healthy face before me, hearing it ask if I have any regrets... And me slowly replying: "Yes, I do. I regret that I never found my voice."

So I have a memo due tomorrow; yes, a four-page memo - a proposal for the main project in my Professional and Technical Writing course. The online thing. I'm going to get it done and submit it today. I've figured out already that there is a lot of subjectivity in the way they mark these papers, so I'm just going to do the best I can.

Anyway, a round of scrabble before breakfast. I got here at 6:39 today. I'm such a keener.

J

Ps: constructive comments are welcome, below.

Too much

I have six minutes: Headaches, a cold, violent coughing, having to buy a vehicle, and this morning a broken water main so theres no water at the house. Could there possibly be anything else? I have assignments due next week and I must get to them forthwith. What to do? What to do?

J

Awe shocks

It's a tough lesson. Getting my results back from the first round of tests and quizzes - some are okay, one very definitely is not. I am shocked at less than 50% in that course - one which, quite frankly, I thought I was on top of. Now I'm going to have to go over the results with the T/A to make sure they're correct and figure out what the hell has me so far behind the eight-ball.

It affects other things, too. I had an exam yesterday that depends a great deal on whether I'm 'getting it' with the framework of analysis and the levels of interpretation. I think I am, but... I also have a quiz today that will require a little synaptic dexterity and quite honestly this bad result has thrown my confidence quite severely out of whack.

So we're waiting here at home right now for the people to come and install the new water meter - by municipal decree - and after they're done I'm going in to school to bone-up before class.

During orientation we kids were told over and over again that we should be sure to make time for ourselves - do some of the extra-curricular things that we kids like to do after hours, you know. Well, I'm starting to think it's all bunkum!

Study. Study hard. Study very long, and when you're not actually studying make sure you're thinking about studying because obviously, eating, drinking and - well, you get the picture - is the only way through this degree thing. All those extra-curricular things I took on don't look very attractive just at the moment and I'm going to have to decide if I can keep doing them.

It's 820 Saturday. If the water people aren't here by 830 I'm going to school. My exam is at one.

J

I Just Gotta

Okay, I've got to say someting about this. If you recall, I was feeling a little disjointed the other day about the new library and how cold it was and how there were no books - how it was all digital and cold and modern... you remember. Well, today - because I was here bright and early, because there was no line-up, and because I really am curious about what is apparently the eighth wonder of the world (to hear everyone else speak) - I finally removed the proverbial finger and got up the courage to ask the staff at least a few basic questions about the facility. And as it turns out, that was a good move.

I was told all about it. So much, in fact, that (woosh!) my poor old brain couldn't absorb it all. There's a tour on Monday at 3pm which I will probably attend, but the best thing I picked up today, is that the entire building is available for study, for reverie, for meditation and computational gymnastics of all kinds, and that in general the higher you go the quieter it is.

Well, I immediately started exploring, and this has been born out accurately. The first floor, with the coffee shop, the chit-chat, the walk-through traffic (passage to here, there and everywhere!) and a few disgruntled-looking students, seems to be a handsome though unappealing space for any real kind of concentration. It seems to be more of a social networking zone than anything. The sixth floor, on the other hand is spacious, quiet, and clean, with cubbies for those who like cubbies, desks for those who like desks - all with power outlets, desk lights, and surrounded by - yes, books! Lots and lots of real books!

So the library is not looking quite as cold to me now as it did the other day. Right now, sitting here, working, enjoying the sixth floor view west to the Rocky Mountains, I think I might have found a permanent and possibly perfect place (stop that!) to study.

And now, I think that's just what I'll do.

J

Working it

As I said, mini crunch time. Slowly getting through it, though, with the rest of my life more or less on hold. I don't know - should I take six courses the next semester? The schedule fits and I'd be ahead of the game going into possible co-op opportunities. A lot of work, though. I'm giving it a think.

I find the way they handle exams here a little strange. The rule seems to be "when you're finished you can go". Back at York it was "Bloody well sit there quietly until time is up!" I confess I prefer the old method - because people are very noisy, packing their belongings and rustling their papers. Another distraction.

Two more mid-terms to write, then a paper and a quiz, then a... The first two weeks really are a vacation, aren't they? Ooh, thank goodness I caught my cold in the second week: it would have been a harsh reality to have write exams in the state I was in.

Note to self: get a decent eraser.

J