Behind me are all the classes, lectures, tutorials and long hours reading the material. Gone is the angst that comes from wrestling with tough stuff. Awa' the anger (yes, I said anger) that comes from trying to figure out the inscrutable professorial method. In my rear view mirror now is all the misery that comes from trying to physically force new facts into a tired old brain.
Over the past three months I have decided that my brain (mine in particular) is like a dirty old sponge - all scaly, with hard, crusty bits on the outside, and it reaches its daily saturation point a lot faster than the youth-rabble around me. Oh, it still wants to learn. It desires it, craves it, demands it! But it knows its limitations even if I don't. I have learned that this is called the cognitive wall, and some days I hit it pretty quickly.
Of course, we go into this kind of thing with all of our baggage intact. The baggage doesn't go away just because we're otherwise engaged for a while. It might be possible to move it to the back burner, but it will still eventually boil so it must not be ignored. It's like having a child that will get cranky if you suddenly stop paying attention to it. Baggage must be factored into all aspects of this degree pursuit. Baggage can be deferred, but not discarded.
Anyway, exam day. It's 720am and there are a lot more students here today than usually at this hour. Laptops blazing, notes flying, lips moving silently in time with their thoughts. Cramming.
My exam is at 330 this afternoon. My plan is to get some breakfast, then spend the day in the library - cramming. Tomorrow I'll be one of these early crammers, preparing for the 8am slugfest.
Now, off to the library.
J
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